


He's Coming To Me

by Dragon_Angel_6712



Category: Thai Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Comfort/Angst, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Everything Hurts, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Feels, First Kiss, First Love, Heavy Angst, I Ship It, I Tried, I know it ain't good enough, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, One True Pairing, Pain, Tears, Unrequited Love, offgun - Freeform, singtokrist - Freeform, taynew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Angel_6712/pseuds/Dragon_Angel_6712
Summary: Love at first sight happened to New Thitiphoom but after four years of pining, is Tay Tawan really worth New's time, care and affection?
Relationships: New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun/Tay Tawan Vihokratana, Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat, Singto Prachaya Ruangroj/Krist Perawat Sangpotirat
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	He's Coming To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone points finger at me, yes the rock paper scissors scene is inspired/adapted from Pink Kiss The Series.
> 
> Yeah, I know I am too obsessed with the prompt of one protagonist, who is a bit cheerful and always happy, pining after the other protagonist who is always annoyed by him. The cheerful protagonist stops going after the annoyed protagonist since the annoyed one fucked up but they end up having a happy ending. Any problem? Yes? Leave. No? Enjoy.
> 
> Yeah, I love angst a lot too.
> 
> And yeah, I am crazy in love and crazily ship the royal ships of GMM-TV.
> 
> Oh and their majors will be of my choice. No Engineering ;)
> 
> I know my one shots are similar but I am a little too obsessed with the prompt I explained up there.
> 
> Since I don't know the actors personally so their personas will be based upon my preference in order to help the work.
> 
> I am always so insecure about my works... This might not be up to the mark so point out where.
> 
> I will be shifting perspectives in this one. After writing in third person for a little long, I don't know how will I do, so do point me out :).
> 
> I know the title is copied but it seemed perfect so I took it. Credits to the owner of the original title.
> 
> Again, I don't know Thai. So if anyone who knows Thai or is a Thai person and happens to read my work and the Thai ain't correct, do point me out.
> 
> All six individuals are of the same age cause I don't wanna write honorifics XD.
> 
> BTW, my first work in this fandom.

**Perspective** : _Third Person_.

Four years was a long time. Almost _one thousand four hundred and sixty days_ , make it _sixty one_ , leap year counted too. For almost everyday, he went after him... Why? Because he was in love. Crazy in love. He pined after him like no other. He was New, New Thitiphoom. Fourth year, Humanities student. Going after the fourth year Economics student, Tay Tawan.

  
But recently, things were starting to sort of _exhaust_ him. They were trying to cut the rope of hope. As he stood in front of the mirror, combing his hair, he pondered over things like, were all of his efforts in vain? Did they not work one bit? Because it had been almost _four years_ since he'd been trying but he, Tay, doesn't seem to reciprocate one bit. He always seemed agitated, annoyed and irritated at his sight. Whenever New popped up in front of him. He told Tay about what felt and gave Tay time. New was patient but it all seemed like that... He just did that for getting hurt at the end.

He shouldn't have fallen in the first place. He looked down as he placed the comb on the dresser. Tay didn't even make him feel special. All Tay did was... Give him a sausage on stick, on the freshman orientation. The memory was still so vivid. He was struck with astonishment. So much, he stopped breathing and his mouth was agape. He had stopped midair while accepting the sausage on stick. Tay had snapped his fingers in front of him after calling out to him in a polite way, since he didn't know his name then.

Gosh, New didn't know what he had felt at the moment. He waited for so long. Pondering over his feelings. He used to go all the way to the Economics cafeteria, in order to steal glances at him. Then the semester break came. When he went back to meet his parents, he spilled the beans to them on the second day. He explained to them, how his heart would sometimes pick up speed, sometimes skip a beat, sometimes have a bloom of warmth and happiness... And sometimes would literally stop after looking at how breathtaking was Tay.

His parents were always so supportive of him. When he was afraid and nervous of realising that he gay, they helped him in becoming comfortable with his sexuality and coming out. It was indescribable in words how much they helped him in each step of life and how he was grateful to have them in his life. They were also the ones who made him realise that he had fallen in _love_.

He was a little nervous to return to university as he didn't know if Tay was straight but then someone came like an angel in his life... More like sometwo.

The phone rang and he looked back at the bed. He went over to the bed, literally walking two steps, he bent and picked up his phone without glancing at the caller ID as he straightened. "Hello?"

He immediately distanced the phone from his ear as a loud voice boomed. New frowned a little as the person literally yelled, "Hello? My ass! Do you know what time is it?! We are running late for university can't you see?!" He pressed the phone to his ear and said, "Calm down, Kit, I am coming."

"Calm down? Calm down?! We have to submit and present the group assign-" Voices came from the other side as it felt like the phone was being snatched from Krist's hand, "Hey!" Resonated in the background. While the other person spoke, New went about his room and collected the things he needed for today, "Ai'New, just hurry up before he loses his mind, we are standing in front of your condo building."

New nodded as he said, "Coming, Gun." He hurriedly checked if he missed anything. When he was sure nothing was left behind, he wore his shoes and hurried down. The elevator doors opened as he dashed out and up till them, "New, what took you so long? Were you dolling up for Tay? You better not be, you know the teacher will kill us if we don't submit her assignment on time." Krist burst at once, New stopped before him and clasped his hands as he bent a little in front of a Krist, whose eyebrows were sort of knitted and his arms were folded. He said with a fake smile and and a sarcastic tone,

"I'm sorry for being late _poh_ , shall we go now that I'm here?" The short one among them smiled as Krist shook his head and started walking. New gave a smile which Gun noticed. As the trio marched towards the university, New fell back one step. Krist and Gun discussed about the presentation and sorts. But New couldn't focus on them, since he was mentally absent. Why? He was pondering over how they met.

Ah, right. He had ran into them when he had came to the Economics cafeteria, first day after semester break. New recognised them as he had seen them taking the same classes he took at that time. When he had eavesdropped on them, it was then he had learnt that the one he likes was gay. And his two friends, Off and Singto too. He remembered, hesitantly approaching them and asking, "Can I sit here?" To which the shorty, Gun, had nodded. They asked him what he was doing here as they also recognised vice versa.

It didn't take time to form alliance on the same cause. Well, same as Gun liked Tay's friend Off and Krist liked Singto. So they formed sort of an unrequited feelings squad. After that day, when he learnt that Tay was gay, did he make a move on him. "New have you eaten?"

New was brought back to the reality with that question, he hummed in question and then shook his head as he focused on what Gun asked, "Come on, let's eat, my treat." New shook his head, "No, it's okay."

"Oho, why reject free food?" New's lips curled up as he took Krist in a headlock and tickled hard in Krist's stomach who had said that, "Free loader." Krist burst out in a fit of laughter, "Hoi, it's aching!" New finally let him go and agreed with Gun. " _Teerak_ _~_ " A voice rang with dripping love in it's tone as they reached the Humanities cafeteria,

" _Papii_." Gun replied as he turned around and smiled. New observed how Off came and took Gun by his waist, pressed their bodies and gave a hearty kiss to Gun.

He felt a little jealous... Envious... "How are you, _nong_ Gun?" Casual talks took place between Off and Gun as they all bought food, walked around, found a table and sat down. New sat opposite Krist, beside New was Gun, then Off. New looked up from eating and saw Singto approaching. He had a sort of a mischievous grin. Krist was sipping from his coffee as Singto came and gave him a bear hug,

" _Sing_!" Krist didn't even have to look at Singto's face to tell that it was him, Krist's face stretched into a hearty smiley face as Singto gave him a big and long cheek kiss.

New gazed at them. A mix of emotions shining in his brown eyes. How lucky were his friends. They got who they wanted. When New had started going after Tay, his friends tagged along too. And according to what both Off and Singto say, when they first saw Gun and Krist, they fell head over heels. It was literally before the next semester break when both couples confirmed dating. And the love between them was as fresh as day one.

Krist snapped his fingers in front of New's face and asked, "Lost in thoughts again?" Krist's one side of the lip curled in a smirk as Singto sat beside him and sipped from Krist's coffee. New's head turned a bit towards the left as his gaze never lifted from the table, his hands which held the cutlery stopped moving, "Oho~ He's probably daydreaming about him and Tay being in a relationship and being all lovey dovey." Off joked about as Gun lightly smacked him on the thigh. Gun slightly turned his face to look at New. Everyone at the table silently observed. New couldn't say anything, he sighed from nose and redirected his attention on his plate. He looked rather sad, Krist and Gun noticed. So instead of replying, New just stuffed his face.

The rest of the day was a little stressful if regarding the university. Tay hadn't shown up today... He knew the reason why. Probably to avoid him. Tomorrow's the last day before semester break. After this semester break, it would be their _last_ semester. They will be graduating and then will hunt for jobs according to their majors. He came home, physically and emotionally drained. New didn't even dare to open the light. He literally dropped on the bed. Sadness written on his face and glistening in his eyes in moonlight shining through the window in the dark room.

He sighed silently, though he lived alone in the condo. Staring up at the dark ceiling, he pondered if he should go now or wait for the literal last day. While pondering over this, he didn't notice when he fell asleep. Waking up in the same position about dawn, he got up, his neck was a little stiff but he gave a few twists and turns and stripped for shower. After showering, he wore new pants and discarded the old one into the washing basket. That poor pant had been used for about ten days now. He ironed the shirt quickly and put it on. Combed his hair and took his bag. Checked his requirements one last time and stepped out.

*

He couldn't go after Tay today. Though Tay showed up. Not after what happened that day... Gun and Krist have been keeping an eye on him for a few days now, New was so out of it today. Even Singto and Off noticed it. They were sitting in the Humanities cafeteria, with lunch and books. New gazed at the couples surrounding them, his expression and eyes screaming his sadness. New twirled the pen a little without noticing it as Singto and Off looked at their boyfriends and asked by motioning from the eyebrows. They just shook their heads responding negative.

New looked down at his books. He had to decide. Tonight it was.

He came back to his condo after classes, left his bag in the room and stepped out again. He ditched dinner today, his mixed feelings and thoughts ate away his appetite. Besides, Off and Singto were tagging along so he naturally dropped out, thinking he might ruin their double date. New didn't try to muster up any confidence for what he was going to do. The pain in his heart was enough for him, to do what he was going to do. He was tired. There were just so many things going on in his mind that he didn't wanna think, so he decided to end this. It gave him reasonable strength. He left his condo building and started walking towards Tay's condo building. Thanks to his friends' boyfriends, he knew where Tay lived. 

While walking up to the destination, his mind went to back to the memory which led him to think and eventually do this. It was a sunny day, a very hot too. Class was about to end. New had a small smile on his face, just thinking about Tay made him happy. His class ended quickly and he got out with Krist and Gun. Just when he parted in a different direction from where the duo was going, Krist turned and asked, "Ai'New, where are you going?" New turned as he walked backwards and said while still smiling a little, "You two go with boyfriends to any faculty's cafeteria you want. I have someone special to meet." He winked at the end and bit his lip just a little out of excitement.

Krist shook his head, Gun helplessly smiled but New just got a glance at them as he turned and walked away. He knew Tay rarely ever went out of the Economics region to have lunch. No matter how bad the food was. Even if it appeased him or not. He bought cold green tea bottles named Oishi, grape flavoured with straws customised to the bottle's color and went to search for Tay.

Tay was not in a very good mood. It was written on his face with a frown as he walked up to a bench. First, he forgot his assignment in his condo, then, he was late for the class as he had to go back to his condo halfway from university. Then his pen broke and leaked on his hands and on the journal he was taking notes on. Then, when he wanted to have lunch with his friends, they ditched him for their boyfriends. Today, he seriously wanted to be alone and didn't want to put up with New's shit. "Hey Tay!"

Tay had just settled down on the bench when he heard the voice come from his behind. The least he reacted was close his eyes, sigh and put his forehead on his folded arms, defeated. He felt the vibration of movement indicating New has settled before him. He heard the squeaking of a plastic bottle being opened. "Tay, I know you had a bad day. Drink this and cool off." Tay never looked at him, instead he grabbed his bag and got up. He started to walk away at the speed of sound, leaving New baffled.

Luckily, New hadn't taken his one strap bag off, so he took the drinks and dashed after Tay, after recovering from the shock too. "Oi Tay! Wait!" He caught up to him and put his hand on Tay's shoulder. That was when Tay's last straw of patience was drawn. He stopped and yanked off New's arm by moving his shoulder in a quick circular motion. New, who had gotten used to Tay's aloof behaviour, didn't mind and said, "I know you don't want to see me but at least drink this, it is quite hot today." New held out his left hand which held the opened purple bottle with a straw in it. His right hand now had his own which was closed.

Tay looked at the bottle and then turned to look New, "And what if I say _no_? Will you comply to that?" He gritted out, New could feel it. Tay squinted his eyes at New for a split second. New didn't know how to answer that as he slowly retracted his hand. He chose silence over answering non sense, "Answer me." His tone was firm and his eyes held a sharpness to them. New gulped emptily, blinked and hesitantly said, "I- I guess..."

"Then please leave me alone too." New was again taken aback as his lips part a little to say something but nothing came out. Instead, he could only draw in a breath. What does Tay mean? New's eyes turned glassy. Tay was about to turn away when New stopped him, "Wait!" Tay shut his eyes and let out a breath, he turned around again, "Tay, you know you can vent to me about anything. You can just express to me how bad did your day go."

"What if I _don't_ want to express it? What if I don't want to express it to _you_? Can't you just leave me alone? Even for a day? You say that I can vent about anything to you right? Then listen," Tay's eyes turned sharper, there was a rage in them. His voice slowly rose as he started spilling out. Gaining attention from the nearby tables,

"Since a long time ago, I have been asking you to leave me alone, to stop coming after me but you, you just hear from one ear and let it pass out from the other. Can't you get it? Are you _dumb_? _Disabled_? Have a problem in understanding someone's consent? I don't want to associate myself with you. I don't want to even look at your face, let alone become friends or anything with _you_." Tay raised his finger to New's torso level. The poison in Tay's tone was seeping in the valves of New's heart... No matter how much he tried to stop it, he couldn't help but feel the pain.

"Do you know how irritating it has gotten for me to put up with my patience? To not to burst out on you? I have a future to build unlike _you_! I've things to do in life other than putting up with your _sick fantasies_! Just cause I'm gay doesn't mean _I'll_ be interested in _you_! So please stop coming after me! Leave me alone!"

"But Tay I care-"

" _I don't want your care_!" With that Tay smacked New's hand holding the opened purple bottle and it fell from New's hand as New's head snapped at the falling object. Tay's gaze burned into New's face whose attention was on the purple bottle which now rolled on the ground, spilling out the liquid inside it. His mouth was agape and his glassy eyes held shock and hurt. Tay raised his finger up till New's face and said with same hard expression,

"Listen, this is the _last_ time, I am warning you! If you come after me next time, I won't hesitate in ruining this symmetry of your face!"

  
Tay shook his head as he turned and dashed out the area. New pursed his lips. He crouched and picked up the almost empty bottle. The gazes of people around him was on him, he could feel it. It felt he was being stripped off his clothes right there and then. He stood up. He couldn't stay there more than a mere second. He walked out the place. Before he realised, tears were streaming down his face.

That was the first time he cried because of Tay in these four years.

*

**Perspective** : _New_.

  
The walk was supposed to be a little long. Yet, I found myself standing in front of the condo building in which Tay lived. A little too early for my liking. I wasn't ready to do this... But I had to... The more early it was done, the more peacefully we can both live. I drew in a breath through my nostrils and pressed my lips. Walking inside the condo building, I stopped at the reception. Placing my palms on the shining glass of the desk, I asked the male receptionist,

"Excuse me, can you please call down Tay Tawan for me? He's a fourth year engineering student." Even though I know that the receptionist knew Tay, I still gave full description. Who knew this might be the last time I ever mention him in my life. The receptionist nodded and picked up the receiver of the telephone as he dialed the number of telephone in Tay's room. "Hello, is Tay Tawan speaking?"

A moment's silence, "You have a visitor going by," He put a hand on the microphone part of the receiver and asked, "Your name?"

"New, New Thitiphoom." He gave a nod and removed his hand, "New Thitiphoom." Another moment of silence. I wonder what would have Tay said. Maybe, " _Tell him that I am not home and that my condo mate has picked up the phone_."

My lips curved up _just_ a little despite my heart aching. I felt that my eyes have a thin line of moisture. Tay always used this line or something similar to this when he didn't want to meet me. Which was usually everyday. The receptionist looked at me with wary eyes, confirming he said the same line. Before the receptionist could say anything to me or put down the receiver, I said, "I don't mean to hang out with him today... I just want five minutes of his time." I said loud enough for it to reach the microphone part of the receiver.

Even I hadn't realised the sadness my tone carried, until I heard it myself. There was a brief silence. Then I could hear something being spoken over the phone. The receptionist placed the phone down and looked up at me with a little anxiousness in his eyes and said, "He said he will be down in a minute." I nodded and gave a short smile at the receptionist. I turned and walked over to the entrance of the lobby. The elevator was opposite the entrance door, opposite to where I was standing.

I was gazing outside the door when I heard the elevator ding. I turned and saw Tay walking out. His hair wet and messy, the long sleeved off white shirt hugged him. The column of three buttons on the vertical neck line was opened, revealing the well built line of his chest muscles. His black sweat pants hugged his waist, if not for the hem of the shirt covering it, it would've been a beautiful view of his underwear and waist.

I drew in a breath as I closed my eyes and turned my face to the other side, ' _Control_ ', I thought to myself. "What is your problem? Why are you here?" Just as I opened my eyes, the voice carrying irritation entered my ears. I turned my head and saw his face in a scowl and eyes carrying annoyance.

' _I love you_ ', I wanted to say this but I can't. I couldn't. ' _Don't worry, Tay, after tonight, peace will be there in your life'_. This thought ran in my head as I didn't realise that I was gazing at his features. Tay snapped his fingers in front of my face as I blinked and broke out of my trance, "Will you say something or should I go back upstairs?" He said almost angry.

"How about," I started hesitantly, "We have a walk in the garden?" I tried but somehow the sadness seeped into my tone.

Tay sighed from nose as walked out first while shaking his head and I walked up after him. Finding words, I walked alongside him. I didn't know where to start from. I hadn't realised how long it had been until Tay stopped and spoke up, "I am sure you aren't here just to have a silent walk with me." I looked up at him, "Don't tell me," He looked at me with disgust, "You will do a cheesy proposal?" I released a breath from my nose, controlling my tears.

' _Wish I could do that..._ ' Blinking and not looking away from him, I said, "I was thinking of _stopping_. Stopping to come after you." Tay cocked an eyebrow as I looked away, "But some part of me still thought that this all would be worth the wait and..." Hurt. I couldn't say it. "I was confused... So I thought why not do this." I turned my face to Tay who wore a slight frown, "Let's do rock paper scissors, best of three. If I win all three times then I would not stop pining after you. But if I lose all three times then I will never show my face."

His face held uncertainty, " _Ku_ _sanya mung_. I never break my promises." His eyebrow cocked for a brief moment then Tay scoffed out, "Okay. Stay true to your word." I couldn't help but just look at his face as I slightly nodded. I knew my eyes would be glassy now. I knew I can never feel the joy to see a smile on his face because of me. Still I couldn't stop looking at him. "I will go for rock. I promise." Tay's eyebrows knitted as he stopped midair asking, "But why are you telling me this?"

"Though there _isn't_ much need now but this will prove my honesty to you." I could see the frown deepen on his face due to annoyance. "Rock paper scissors!" We said simultaneously as I showed a rock and Tay showed a paper. "I will show paper now."

"Rock paper scissors!" I showed a paper and Tay showed scissors. We shared a wary glance. It fucking hurt. Knowing Tay didn't want me. Knowing he'd never want me. Knowing he despised me. Knowing he wanted me to go away from him, from his life. But who will take care of him if he steps out from his life?

I looked up at him, "Before we do the last round, will you promise me something?" Tay seemingly pondered for a moment before nodding in a way in which his chin lifted up. "After I step out from your life, will you take care of yourself in my stead?" Tay blinked. He was a little flustered, if you gazed just enough into his eyes, you could see. He didn't reply but looked down at our hands. "I will go for scissors now."

"Rock paper scissors!" The moment stopped as I looked at our hands. I showed a scissors and Tay showed a... _Rock_. The last string of hope was taken away from me like the will of my life was snatched away from me in the harshest way. My breath was stuck. As my hand slowly dropped, I looked up at him, "Have a happy and a healthy life. Find someone who you love and they love you back." Before I knew it, my lips curled up sadly. I turned as I started walking away without looking back. Still a part of me wanted Tay to call out.

If just Tay would say stop, I won't go away. I will always stay beside him. Just Tay needed call out to me. For once. Even by mistake. I won't ever leave him. Never. And before I realised it, I was out of the vicinity of the building. I could feel the tears rolling down on my cheeks. In a daze, I reached my condo building. My tears weren't stopping but I somehow controlled them. I entered the vicinity of my condo building and entered the lobby, then the elevator. After pressing the button and reaching my floor, it was getting harder to control the outburst of sobs bubbling in me.

I reached in front of the door to my condo. Fished out keys from my pocket but when I looked down to see which to put in... I burst. As the tears blurred my vision, I couldn't control anymore. I somehow managed to open the door to my condo but when the door closed, I collapsed down there and cried rivers. I hadn't cried like this in my entire life. My whole body shook with sobs. Both my palms held my elbows and upper arms as I curled in myself.

*

**Perspective** : _Third Person_.

New didn't remember when he passed out. When he woke up, he felt like a mess. He was a mess. He didn't remember anything from last night. He just stood up from the entrance and stripped there, entering the bathroom, he ran the shower and when cold water touched his head, it was then the last night flooded back in his head. He had to pull himself out of the water. Brushing his wet hair back, he took a few deep breaths. His chest feeling the coldness of the water as it showered on his chest. Closing his eyes, he dipped his head back in the water.

The semester break had started today. He washed his jeans and uniform and hung them to dry. Cleaned his room and took care of a few things. By night, New had booked a bus ticket, he wanted to see his parents, it had been so long since he'd seen them. And a part of him wanted to escape this situation. That night, he had dinner with his friends.

He came back from the dinner and collapsed on his bed but he couldn't sleep. All he could do was toss and turn. He finally landed on his back when his mind drifted into thinking. The balcony was opened, the air flew in as New's hair flew in rhythm with it. The moonlight made his soft and light features glow up. But with sadness. He gazed out the window.

_"Last time I met_ _Papii's_ _parents, so this time, I am taking him my home, to introduce him to my family formally. Maybe even get them to agree to let me marry_ _Papii_ _."_

_"Oh~ On my side,_ _P'Sing_ _is taking me to meet his parents. If I am not wrong, his mother wants to talk about me marrying_ _P'Sing_ _._ _P'Sing_ _told me that she was excited to meet me and she was being nervous on my behalf, that I will be marrying_ _P'Sing_ _."_

His friends' words suddenly resonated in his ears. Their laughs and giggles. He remembered them both smiling and blushing. The feeling of jealousy and envy kicked his heart again. He knew he shouldn't feel this way but he couldn't help it. He also wanted to talk about this... He also wanted to share how his special one was taking him to meet his parents... But he couldn't. Because of both, he didn't have a special one and the one he loved wasn't his special one. He didn't want a special one if it wasn't him...

A tear slipped out his left eye as he didn't notice. It slipped all the way from his upper side burn into his hair. All he could do was look back and forth between them. In the end, Gun and Krist had to change the topic. He felt so bad, just cause New couldn't join in the conversation, they had to change the topic. He really felt like a bad friend. He closed his eyes. The cold tears seeped out. He turned and buried his face in the pillow.

*

The semester break went quite uneventful for New. But he told his parents what happened and what he planned to do. They were sad that their son's his first love was left uncompleted but they encouraged him on his decision of moving on.

Whereas Tay, he went wild. The night New had booked a ticket back home, he had also. But he partied harder than Off and Singto. Tay didn't remember but he ended up vomiting. Very hardly they managed him back to his condo. He ended up missing his bus. He was so hungover the next day and there was no one to care for him. He had to get up and buy himself hangover soup. With a pounding head. He took a shower and somehow ended up at a local restaurant. He sat down at the table and looked around the area. Due to the headache, he slumped against the chair and sort of zoned out.

He ended up in a memory. It was way back in second year. He had drunk just like this. He remembered someone walking him home and someone taking care of him. He even vomited on the guy. But he couldn't remember him though. Who? Just who was he?

Questions were going on Tay's mind when the waiter came and put the hangover soup on his table. " _Khob_ _khun_ _krub_." He thanked the waiter and looked at the soup. His hands, which were reaching for the chopsticks and spoon, stopped midair as he gazed at the soup. His eyebrows knitted. Suddenly he was dragged back in his mind. It was quite hazy but he remembered a face and someone saying...

He closed his eyes and focused on both, the face and the voice,

_"Tay... You'd drunk a lot last night... Eat this and rest okay?"_

Tay's eyes opened as the hazy face popped up in his eyes. Shining brown eyes, glowing pale skin, a mole on the nose and soft, pink and flower lips wearing a soft smile. It was... _New_. Tay couldn't frown at that memory. He didn't know why but he just couldn't. He felt something quite weird. In his heart. So in order to shake this feeling off and push the memory back, he hurriedly took and dipped his spoon in the hot soup. He, without blowing on it, sipped it and ended up burning his lips and tongue.

*

Other than that, Tay's semester break was uneventful too. He had gotten back quite late last night and had hit the pillow the moment he arrived. Why? Because his dumb ass forgot to book a ticket one day prior the end of his vacation. He didn't want to be late for the first day of the last semester.

  
He was so tired that he even forgot to set an alarm for tomorrow. He had just laid his tired body on the bed for five minutes when he heard the door bang. He didn't wake up. The door again banged and someone yelled from the outside. He couldn't quite comprehend as he was asleep. He put the pillow over his head in order to shut out the banging but it just wouldn't stop. Tay opened his eyes after a moment. All angry but when he removed the pillow from his head, his anger sort of dissolved as confusion took place.

_Daylight_ was pouring into his room. His eyebrows knitted as he looked at the bedside clock. It was fifteen minutes before his first class, " _Shiya_." Tay cursed under his breath. Just then the door banged again, "Ai'Tay! Wake up! We all are gonna be late for class because of your heavy sleeper ass!" It sounded a lot like Off. He jumped up from his bed and rushed to open the door for them.

The moment the door swung open, his flustered existence was welcomed with a Singto who had his arms folded and he wore an anger mixed anxious look. He looked at Off, who seemed red from both yelling and anger. He had his hands on his waist. Tay didn't even say anything and rushed back in his condo.

He, as his friends nagged at him, changed his shirt in a swift, combed his hair, put a chewing gum in his mouth, collected his books and bag, wore his shoes and ran out with them. "First day of the last semester and we're late." Somehow luck was on their side today as they caught a ride. They reached the class just _one minute_ before it started. Breathing heavily, they settled on their seats. The teacher entered and started his class. Blinking and taking notes, he started thinking about that this was his _first_ time being late for class. First time in four years.

He slowly shook his head to the left side as he sighed. He blinked again, his mind thinking why he wasn't late for his classes till now? His mind played a reel of memories. He blinked and blinked and again blinked. After his first semester in the first year, he _always_ got a call in the morning. At sharp seven am. He was so irritated at that. Even when he didn't want to go to university, because of that damned call, his sleep would go away and he would eventually have to get up and get ready for university.

Which was actually quite helpful for him. He never missed a class, always had his notes ready and even he had a balanced, more like a good GPA too. His attendance was remarkable too. But the number wasn't saved on his phone. Wait, he remembered picking up the phone half asleep. The unknown person sometimes spoke to him but he couldn't remember it as he was always half asleep when he picked up the call. Maybe if he focused enough, he might recall the voice of the person who always called him. It was... "Tay?!" A whisper yell broke him out of his trance as he looked at his left. "Why aren't you taking notes?"

Singto's worried voice touched his ears. What? But he was taking- He looked at his journal and the page was empty. His eyebrows knitted. The class soon ended and he borrowed notes from Singto and Off and quickly copied them before the next. He had never zoned out like this during a class.

It was about two days later after that. Tay was walking from the open corridor in his faculty, looking around, observing the small things beside him but not paying much attention to them. He reached the cafeteria and saw his friends with... "Singto, Off, you two really need to have your boyfriends beside you when you eat?" He asked sitting down on the bench, "Why do you care?" Off shot, who sat beside him. Gun sat opposite Off, Krist beside Gun and Singto beside Krist and opposite Tay. "It's not like we are asking money from you to buy them lunch?"

"Papii." Gun said a reprimanding way but Off only melted, "But can't we just have lunch like three normal friends? Is it necessary for them to have lunch _everyday_ with us?"

"Now you are exaggerating, we don't have lunch with our boyfriends _everyday_." Krist said a little irritated, "Just cause you don't have a love life doesn't mean others don't too." Gun said calm but his tone showed that he was offended too. "Guys calm down. But Tay, I am with them on this, we literally have lunch with them two days in our university, be it Economics faculty or Humanities." Singto said trying to calm the situation down.

Tay shook his head and got up to buy lunch. After they all got their lunch and settled back in the same order, Off asked, "Why don't you date New? He has been coming after you for a real long time now." Singto also added, "Yes, I don't see any bad in him for you to not to date him."

Krist and Gun subtly looked at Tay, they also wanted to know the reason what their friend had so bad that it drove away Tay. Tay swallowed his food and scoffed as he said, "You guys might not find any fault with him but I can. He is so clingy, I can't stand his guts. Did I ask for him to court me? Did I ask him to take care of me? Did I make him feel special? Did I do anything for him to feel that way? No. Then why is he doing this?" Tay concentrated on his food. He didn't look at the faces of his friends and their boyfriends.

"I don't like that guy one bit. Every time he says he cares about me, I feel cringed out. Every time he does things for me, I feel uncomfortable. _I hate him_ , I hate his presence, I hate his ever positive vibes. I-" Tay looked up and saw Singto's face, who wore a sort of a sympathetic look. He looked at Krist and Gun and they were sort of angry. The grip on their utensils said so. Then he looked at Off, who looked behind them, he turned around from his left side and he didn't expect this but he was shocked to find the person, he least expected to here, standing behind him.

It was _New_... Their eyes connected for a brief moment. But it was New who broke the eye contact. He hesitantly started, "Gun... Krist... Let's go, class is about to start." Tay couldn't avert his gaze from New's face, which expressed so many hidden emotions. But he couldn't see New's eyes, which held larger flood of emotions. Krist and Gun got up and walked up to New, who turned quickly and started walking away. Glaring daggers at him one last time, they went after New. Tay turned around, " _Shiya_ , couldn't you guys tell me it was New behind me?!"

"Even if we did would you have cared?" Singto asked, Tay looked away from the table, pondered for a moment and then said looking Singto, " _Chhai_ , you're right..." There was glimpse of hope in both Singto and Off's eyes that finally Tay realised but the answer he gave to them, crushed their expectations, "I _wouldn't_ care even then too." Singto sighed loudly and concentrated on his food, "Tay," Off called out as Tay looked at him, "You're an asshole."

Off shook his head and ate his food, "Yeah I know."

*

New didn't realise how he fell back when he was the one leading the trio to the class. They were near their class when New said, "Guys, you two go ahead. I have to use the washroom." Gun and Krist nodded, they knew New wouldn't be able to hold it back. Not after the hurtful things Tay said behind New's back. So they played dumb and simply obliged, they wanted New to cry it out and move on as soon as possible.

New hurriedly found the restrooms and entered. He quickly went in one of the stalls, locked the door, turned the toilet seat and sat upon it. He placed his bag on his lap and slowly he let the emotions slip out.

  
His beautiful face contorted into a frown as he silently shook with sobs. His hand reached up and covered his mouth when the sobs escaped his lips with sound. His precious tears spilling out nonstop. In a mess. There were several trails of tears on his face, continuing their trail on his hand, wetting his sleeves and dripping on his shirt and bag. His sobbing was uncontrollable.

What could he do to control it either? He just got to know that the one he _loves_... _Hates_ him. He hated his everything. The pain jabbed at his heart like a dagger is being driven there. Making a big hole in place of his heart. But the pounding pain wasn't lessening. No matter how much he cried. He didn't know when his tears would dry up. He messily wiped his face as he hiccupped. He stood up and carefully exited the stall. He washed his face and didn't dare to look into the mirror, fearing he might breakdown again. He skipped this class and went to the roof to pacify himself.

*

Krist and Gun could literally feel the vibes New was emitting. As they walked back home from university, the sky was wearing a black robe with beautiful glitter as stars, New walked before Gun and Krist. The duo shared a glance from behind New. New had been quiet for a few days now, New who once couldn't shut his mouth, was quiet as if it was always his persona. He told them that he was going to the washroom but he ended up skipping class. When they met him for another, they saw his puffy red eyes but didn't say anything.

The atmosphere among them was a tense too. Just then New saw a park and changed his direction. Krist and Gun again shared a glance and walked after him. New walked up near the other end of the park and laid on the grass. Krist and Gun did the same too. Krist laid on New's right side and Gun on the left. They could only see the sky and the twinkling stars on it, the black cage barrier of the park was sort of out of their vision. They didn't notice a person stopping behind their heads when Gun asked turning his face to look at New, "New... How are you feeling?"

New didn't look at Gun. Instead, he just gazed at the stars, with a distant expression he started, "Imagine your boyfriend and you weren't boyfriends." Gun looked up at the sky. He couldn't picture what New was telling him to do. "Imagine you were head over heels in love with him and he doesn't even _like_ you back. He runs away from you. He... _Despises_ you." Tears rose in both Krist and Gun's eyes. The thing they couldn't imagine, their friend was going through. "I am feeling just like that."

Sniffles came from New. Krist and Gun didn't dare to look at him. They knew their friend doesn't want them to look at his vulnerability. "I can't believe this..." He voice came out strained as if he was about to cry, "I _wasted_ my time going after him... I was so dumb... Why couldn't I understand it back then?" He gulped, his Adam's apple moving up and down as tears rolled down his eyes and into his hair. "Why was I so optimistic? Thinking that if I show him patience, if I show him my will I will make a place in his heart... If I show him my care, then he would open up his heart for me. But then I realised, I didn't ask him to do so. So how could he do that for me?" He took gulp and sniffled again. "I feel so messed up... But I'll move on from him... _I promise_..."

*

  
Sitting in the library, Tay scanned a few books in order to make an assignment. Singto and Off were sitting in front of him. This being a group assignment, Singto looked up and asked, "Tay?" Tay looked up and hummed, "Can you get me the reference to this topic?" Tay looked at the topic where Singto placed his finger. Tay looked up and nodded. He got up and started searching for the book where the reference to the specific topic laid. He crossed a few shelves and got the book. He just walked out from between them when he saw New, a book in his hand.

He was standing in correspondence to Tay. A few shelves away. Tay breathed out frustrated, thinking that once New noticed him, he might come after him. New was seemingly searching for someone. He looked here and there, Tay was about to move backwards when New laid his eyes on him. They again had a brief eye contact. Again, it was New who broke it. He turned and walked away in the opposite direction to Tay. Tay's eyebrows knitted as he looked away and started walking towards his table.

It bugged him. It was always Tay who broke the eye contact. Two times in a row New had done this. This is getting on his nerves. Almost throwing the book on the table, Tay loudly sat down on his chair. Off and Singto eyed him and Off asked, "What happened, Tay? What's with this behaviour?" But he didn't reply to them. He couldn't. His mind was too occupied by the thing which happened. So much that he couldn't focus on the assignment and Singto and Off had to take the matter of the assignment in their hands.

*

Tay didn't even notice that he had started to cross paths often with New. He didn't notice himself looking at his way more than usual. He didn't notice himself searching for New. He didn't notice himself getting jealous and mad when New walked past him and wouldn't spare him a glance. He didn't notice how was getting frustrated and madder with each moment passing. Just today he was walking to the faculty of Humanities to fetch Off and Singto and probably their boyfriends too for lunch when he saw New walking opposite and parallel to him.

He looked at New, who didn't glance at him and walked past and away like there was nothing between them. Which was indeed the truth. Tay stopped and couldn't help but let his gaze stay on New and let his neck move to maintain the gaze. He ended up half turned gazing at New's retreating back. This was it. He felt so... So... Weird. Why did he feel mad at being ignored by New? He had felt what it feels like to be ignored but it wasn't as bad as what he felt right now. He felt something else with it too. But he didn't want to ponder over it.

With these troubling thoughts, weekend came and Tay invited Off and Singto to drink and crash at his place. The doorbell rang and Off and Singto entered the place after Tay opened the door. Tay's roommate was over at his friend's place so they had the condo to themselves. Off and Singto had been observing Tay's behaviour for the past few days. He had grown quite irritated these days, he zoned out a lot. Even during classes. Tonight might be the chance to ask him about it. Tay's face sort of told them that he was frustrated and had a lot on his mind.

Still not saying much, they greeted and sat down on the bean bags to open the beers. First bottle downed, Tay opened and distributed the second round of bottles. As he took a gulp from his bottle, Singto piped up, "Tay, why have been acting so weird these days?" Off looked at Tay too, wanting to know the reason. Tay didn't look at them, rather he found the furniture behind Singto interesting. So he didn't have to make eye contact with their knowing gazes and expressions.

"I can't understand it myself..." Tay said in an almost whisper after a long while. " _Ai'mung_ , tell us, we might be able to help you." Off said as Tay slumped on his bean bag. He closed his eyes and sighed, "I don't know guys... I just feel so uncomfortable these days... I feel mad and frustrated all the time. Which is not because of studies." He took in a breath, "But since that night, when he last came to see me, he always ignores me!" He exclaimed in a mild tone. Taking a chug from the bottle, he said, "I know he ended coming after me but it feels so weird when he doesn't look at me. When he is the first one to break eye contact if it happens... I just-"

His head dropped back, "You just what, tell us what you feel?" Singto asked placing his beer beside him. Tay stared at the ceiling above as he let out his raw feelings in a cracking-strained voice, " _I can't stand it_." Off and Singto shared looks. "Why can't you stand it?" Off asked this time. It took a long while before Tay said, "I don't know..."

A moment later Singto said, "Don't worry, you have all the time in the world. Give it time and think about it, the answer doesn't need to be stated today." Singto and Off took a gulp from their bottles when Tay, still looking at the ceiling, said, " _Am I in love_?" They momentarily stopped. Glancing at each other, Off asked, "How do you feel to know you're in love?"

"I... Feel pain... Whenever he does things I said before... I feel hurt. My heart pounds with pain, whenever he breaks eye contact. Whenever he walks past me like I am nothing. It fucking hurts... Here." He placed his hand on his chest, where the heart resided. Singto asked, "And who is the person, who does this all and makes you feel bad?"

Tay didn't answer. Just then Off made a guess, "Don't tell me, it's _New_!" Tay just drank from his bottle. As a sigh escaped from both their lips. Singto said after a moment, "Look Tay, we can't say that you're in love, it is only you can answer that to himself. Give it a little more time to confirm it but if you really want our verdict," He looked at Off who looked at Tay and said, "We believe _you're in love_."

*

Taking up on his friends' advice, he gave these feelings time. It was Monday and he was waiting for his bike ride to arrive which he booked from the application of accommodation he downloaded in his phone. He was standing opposite a bus stop. Today, he was late yet again and had skipped one class. His friends were already at the university with their boyfriends so he took this option, today he wasn't in the mood of walking too.

  
He wasn't particularly in the commercial but just a little out of the condo building area. He put his phone in his pocket after checking the rider's position. Shoving his hands in the pockets, he looked up and his breath got caught in his throat as his mouth was agape. His heart stopped as the view in front of him was someone he hadn't expected. _New_ was standing right opposite him. Tay couldn't even blink, New didn't look at him, he just checked his watch and looked for the signs of an arriving bus.

How was it today that Tay was discovering how breathtaking New was. His face, even in a slight frown, looked so beautiful. Tay's heart took a weird beat as the bus arrived, breaking him out of his trance. A burning breath filled his lungs as he felt like a fish was pulled out of water. He suddenly became restless. He wanted more, he wanted to gaze at that face more. Unknowingly, he stepped on the road. The bus started moving as a car's tires screeched and stopped just before it collided with him. The driver rushed out and yelled, "Why are you crossing the road without looking?! If you want to die this much go find another car to jump in front of!"

But only Tay's hands were raised showing he wanted to calm the middle aged guy but the centre of his attention was something else as his head was in the direction of the bus. He couldn't get a glimpse of New.

After apologising to the guy in a hazy restless manner, he went and stood on the side path again. He couldn't concentrate on anything that day. New's face kept popping up before his eyes.

*

"You're an asshole. Know this before you do anything." Spat Krist. His arms folded, Gun also was present at the scene, his arms also folded and he bore holes into Tay's skull. Apparently, after that incident, Tay was sure he was in love under seventy two hours. So he called his friends and told them what he felt and what he intended to do. They dialled their boyfriends and now they all stood in the garden of the condo building where Tay lived.

Still in their uniforms and under the evening sun, this discussion took place. "I know, I accept it," Tay stood up from the bench, "But I really want to make up with him... Even though we had nothing between us... I at least want to try to make it up to him. I know it's a long way and I know we might not straight away start from boyfriends but even if takes for me to shamelessly pine after him..." There was glimmer of determination in his eyes, "Then so be it."

Gun scoffed, "You think we would help you just cause you talk this stupid shit." Off gently took Gun's cheek in his left palm and as he caressed his cheek, he made Gun look at his eyes, "Gun, his intention is pure, me and Singto can assure you both."

" _Chhai_. Tay had talked to us about this matter before and he took his time in sorting out his feelings." Singto came and stood beside Krist who looked at him, "I just need a way to approach him." Tay said, his eyes showing his sincerity. Krist and Gun still looked at him unsure and somewhat sour. "It isn't both your places to feel angry."

Both Krist and Gun looked at Singto who looked like he stood his ground. After a long moment, Krist sighed and Gun asked in a hard tone, "First, promise us that you won't hurt our friend again." Tay nodded, after a while, Gun said, "You know, for as long as we've known him, he doesn't break his promises." Tay's eyebrows knitted a little, "He told me the same thing the other day."

Krist and Gun shared a wary glance, Krist said, "Apparently he promised himself and I guess us too cause we were present there but he promised that he would..." His expression was saying that he was pondering over whether he should say it or not, " _Move on_ from you." They all shared a serious look as Tay was the only one who averted his gaze.

"Oh shit."

*

**Perspective** : _Tay._

I couldn't help but feel nervous. There were tons of reasons why. But I had to do this, no matter what. Krist and Gun said that all New had wanted was a confession in a park or a garden, under a metal stand lamp which was usually found in parks. Just the two of them and no one else. According to Krist and Gun, New had always imagined it. So I would fulfill New's wish. This would at least give us a good start, who knows, a good boost too? Let's not get my hopes up high.

I have hurt him way beyond I could imagine. I reached the condo building, which's address Krist and Gun gave me, and entered the lobby. I reached the desk and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me, can you please call down New Thitiphoom? And don't tell him my name, but just say a friend has came to meet him."

The receptionist nodded, took the receiver and dialed the telephone in New's condo. Short conversation was made and the receptionist put down the telephone, "Can you do me one more favour?" The receptionist nodded, "Please tell him to come to the lawn."

"Okay." A little excited and nervous, I went to lawn outside and waited under the third lamp for New. My hands were feeling cold but they were sweating. I was fisting and releasing constantly in order to control my anxiousness. After a short while I could hear footsteps approaching me. I turned around and saw the breathtaking man walking up to me. I was so dazed by him that I didn't notice the myriad of emotions under his expression. He wore simple pyjamas, his hair were messy but he looked so cute. His eyes shined like no other under the lamp. My lips couldn't help but curl up. He stopped at a reasonable distance, put on an unconvincing smile and asked, "Is this a dream? Tay Tawan came to meet me, New Thitiphoom."

I noticed how New didn't want to spoil the mood with his sadness, I noticed how much was he suffering behind that fake smile, "I had something to say to you." Both his eyebrows furrowed as if asking 'Me?' as I nodded, "Go on then." He wrapped his arms around his torso. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I tried again but same thing occurred. I got a little flustered as I could feel my cheeks becoming hot. I bit my lip and bowed my head a little as my left hand reached into my hair.

I fiddled with my hair as I said in a low voice, "I don't know from where to start." And in the nervousness, a giggle even escaped my lips. I was just finding what words to say when New piped up, his words left me shook as my hand dropped and I looked up at him, shock written on my face. My mouth slightly ajar.

" _You're in love_ , aren't you?" I could never forget the look of hurt glistening in his eyes and showing a little on his face. But New hid it immediately as I asked still shocked, "How did you know?"

  
He chuckled a little before saying, "Come on, it is written on your face." I became a little shy thinking about it, was I that obvious? I averted my gaze, my lips again curling. "So who is he?" I was too carried away in my own plan and emotions that I didn't try to see things from New's perspective so when he said this to me, I was taken aback, "What?" I asked a little flustered as I looked at him again.

"I asked who is the lucky guy?" I was tongue-tied and shocked, I wanted to say 'It is you' but nothing came out of my mouth. "You don't want to tell now?" New asked, his lips wearing a smirk. I couldn't answer that too, he again said a little playful this time, "Look at you! So flustered when I mentioned about _him_." That 'him' carried a wave of many emotions screaming sadness which I could feel.

"D- Don't you think it could be you?" I asked hoping for him to take the hint, he shook his head, "It's not me, I know. I _had_ been after you for four years, you didn't fall for me then, why would you fall now? I bet it is someone else who was able to wrap you around them." New's words jabbed me in the heart. He thought like that. He was so convinced that it wasn't him because of the constant denial and heartbreak he faced just cause of me. I have never felt this bad in my whole life. And after listening to what New said... The depth of his heartbreak was starting to seep in my mind, making me take a guess on how hurt he was.

New breathed out from nose and asked, "So why have you came all the way here? I am sure you aren't here just to share your happiness that you fell in love." I looked at him anxiously as his facial expression changed into a questioning one, before I even could think, he made an assumption, "Wait- Don't tell me, you messed up with him too?" Since I was deadly nervous and tongue tied due to it, I decided to play along for now. I nodded in agreement. "Oh my God!" He face palmed.

He let out a frustrated groan, "If you couldn't think about caring my feelings, at least you should've cared about his. On top that you love him too."

"But how do you know I am here for this?" I honestly wanted to know what he thought about. In order to have at least a next time, I needed this information, " _Aon_ , It's a miracle that you trust me enough to come to me and talk about love. I could already feel you were here for advice the moment I guessed you were in love."

Oh, so he thought like that. Why did I fuck up like this? Leaving me no option but to play along. "How about we sit down?" I asked and he nodded. After sitting down on the bench nearby, New asked, "Tell me, what did you do with him? And is he still in your life?"

Without looking at him, I hesitantly started, "He was just taking care of me." I gazed up at his side profile as he gazed at the grass before us, slowly nodding while he digested the information. "I was the one who blasted on him... One night, he said to me that he would stop caring about me and didn't come after me since that day."

"And it was then you realised that you love him." New looked up at me as our gazes connected but breaking the eye contact first and not making things awkward, New said, "This is your problem. People like you, take care of you and want you to be their special one but you always manage to shoo them off. And you even ended up falling for the poor guy. Making you both hurt in the end."

I couldn't take my eyes off, the look on my face and eyes surely held hurt to it, not because I was in pain but seeing how New was hiding himself in front of me. Hiding his true feelings from me, suddenly New's lips curled into a fake smile as he looked at me, "I might have an idea on how to make it up with him."

*

**Perspective** : _Third Person_.

"Clapping! Someone please give this person an award!" Off said sarcastically, " _Ai'mung_! Did you go to propose him or just to make a fool out of you both?" Off shot this question seriously, " _Oho_! What could I do? He just started assuming things out of the blue and because I was nervous, I got flustered. It got to a point where I had to play along." Tay sighed, "At least I got to know what he really feels, besides that he even agreed on helping me with 'him'."

Tay said somewhat deflated. He then sighed again, "What did he say?" A voice came from the phone of Off. Apparently, it was Singto. "Tell us too." Conference call to be specific, Krist and Gun were connected too. Tay was at Off's condo at the moment. Right after his failed proposal, he landed here, "He said something about a hearty confession. He said that I need to ask for permission from the people in my condo building to let me take the roof for one night other than that he will handle it."

"Ai'Gun, tomorrow morning New will come to us asking to help him with this for sure." Krist said over phone, "How do you know?" Off, gazing at the phone, asked them both. "Papii come on, we've been friends with him for a long time now, how come would we not know his antics."

  
" _Chhai_. He will take any measures to make the ones, he loves, happy." Krist's voice somewhat resonated. "So do you know what to do?" Tay asked, Krist replied over the phone, "I didn't really believe it when Singto said this to me but Tay, you really are dumb."

Tay asked really confused, "What do you mean?" Gun interrupted, "Let New do what he wants but when you are about to call _him_ just call New. Make an excuse of anything. Simple as that." Tay nodded slowly, "That's a very good idea." And sighs resonated over the phone.

"Okay then, it's quite late and we all have morning classes if I am not wrong. Let's meet tomorrow?" Singto asked.

"Yeah." Off replied as he somewhat sighed and shook his head, "Bye." Farewells were exchanged as Off ended the call. He turned to Tay side ways who sat on the same side of the bed with him. He was leaning behind on the palm of his hands as if using them as a stand. But he seemed like was lost in thoughts. Off placed a hand on Tay's shoulder, "Everything will eventually get better, I promise. Now that you've realised, somewhat in time, we will help you make way to his heart. But remember it will take a lot of time for his wounds to heal. You need to be patient."

Tay looked at Off, "Don't worry too much okay? You have to try just like how he did. If you want you can crash at my place tonight."

Off had retracted his hand back when Tay asked averting his gaze, "Why is love so complicated?" Off hummed as he climbed and leaned his back against the headboard, "In my opinion, love isn't as complicated as people see it to be. It's the people who are. We struggle with ourselves, deny to accept our true feelings. Fearing that everything might go downhill for us one way or another. No matter how true we are to ourselves, there is a point in our lives when we lie to ourselves and live in denial, even when the reality is in front of our eyes, crystal clear. If we just let go of this thing called fear, I think life might become a bit easier for us to live."

Tay furrowed his eyebrows as he mischievously smiled, " _Oho_! Such mature words, where does this come from? The Off I know or maybe _used_ to know wasn't like this." Off smiled as he let a breath out, "After Gun stepped into my life, everything changed. I didn't believe the saying 'love changes people' but when I met Gun," Off averted his gaze as he slowly shook his head, he didn't notice how his lips curled up thinking of him, "I couldn't help but change myself for him. He did the same." Off looked back at Tay, "That guy helped me become mature and think about things I never thought before, like caring for the future."

Tay fake cringed as he said and stood up, "I can't stand this cheesiness, I am out." Off just laughed and said, "Once you and New get together, I'll ask this from you then." Tay waved a hand, not turning back and yelled, "Let's see!" And left.

*

  
To say New's heart didn't break all over again would be a lie. The thought wasn't leaving his mind and the aching wasn't leaving his chest. Every breath he pulled in, burned and was heavy. It made him want to stop breathing for a moment. He was gonna help sail the ship in which Tay and his lover, who wasn't New, would be sitting. But anything for him. New loved Tay too much, more than himself. He would take all the pain Tay had to bear and give Tay all his happiness.

He didn't mind dying everyday then... Just Tay should be happy, he should be smiling, he should be loved by _him_. But he won't hesitate in taking back Tay from him, if the guy _Tay loved_ , messed things up. But the wish hadn't left his heart... That... Even for once... Tay would look at him the way, he looked at Tay... That... Tay would l-

Fingers snapped before New's face as he looked up to see Tay's shining eyes, "Zoning out?" New faked a smile as he shook his head, "I got the permission, when do we need to start?" New observed and gazed at Tay, how he was so happy and invested in this. He felt happy and sad. Tay's features glowed and eyes sparkled, if you squinted enough, you could see him blushing too. And the way he stood a little nervous before New, told him that something was changed in him. Him looking here and there and making just two seconds of eye contact with him, maybe-

"New?" New blinked as he snapped out of it, "Huh?" Tay looked a little flustered too, "I asked when do we start?" New averted his gaze as he started, "Uh, I've already told Gun and Krist about this, we will start whenever you're ready."

Tay pursed his lips and smiled, "I have one night and two days permission, how about we start tomorrow?" New nodded, not looking at him and missing his hopeful smile, cheery eyes and happy face. Which he was sort of glad, maybe he would burst out in tears if he saw his face.

*

The next day arrived and the six men stood on the roof of Tay's condo building. The evening wasn't helping in lessening the heat. "Okay," New turned to the Tay, "The plan is, after we settle this up and night falls, you will call him here saying something important has came up and you need his help and then surprise him, how's that?" New smiled but his smile was not that genuine. Tay observed this but still said, "Good enough, should we start?"

  
The plan was, they, basically New, wanted to settle up a tent and place a mattress in it. Pillows and blankets being there as well. Fairy lights and a little something like these. A nice dinner too. New wanted it to be perfect for Tay, so that after tonight, Tay could live peacefully and happily with... Him. While setting up the tent, New took one side of the rope and went to attach it to the wall. Standing on a small stool, he did the work. Tay walked up behind him a drink in his hand, wanting to ask New if he was thirsty.

New finished his work and was about to step down when the small stool turned over and New ended falling upon Tay, who successfully saved New by sacrificing the drink in this hand and holding New's waist. Now New laid atop Tay. Their faces dangerously close, eye contact not wavering. The atmosphere among them was tense and sort of sensual. New could feel Tay's burning touch on his waist. Off, Gun, Singto and Krist stood there and just gazed at them mischievously, purposefully not doing anything. Tay was about to get lost in the feelings when New snapped himself out of it and stood up as they all rushed to help them now.

"Are you okay?" Gun asked New as he didn't look him in the eye and nodded. Tay couldn't avert his gaze from New. Krist and Off helped him up, "You good dude?" Tay nodded in sort of a daze. The rest of the evening was went by in a sort of a tense atmosphere, they all prepared for the thing New wanted and it came out like this.

Satisfied with the results, New turned to Tay, "I hope everything gets better between you and him." Tay saw how New tried to hide his sadness.

"We'll get going." Tay nodded, New had just turned when, "New?" New turned his head in Krist's direction, "Can you go home alone today?" Krist asked, "We need to buy some bedsheets with Singto and Off."

New nodded, this wasn't something new to him, he was sort of adjusted to being alone now, seeing his friends have a successful love life. He turned and walked out a little too quick for Tay's liking. After the door closed, he turned to them and said, "Where are the things I asked?"

*

It's been about one hour since he came back, he'd collapsed and had been lying on his bed, gazing at the white ceiling, looking a little more hollow than yesterday and in New's perspective, a little less than tomorrow. Tay must've made up to him by now... Haven't he? Now New has no chance... And New has no choice but move on from-

  
The phone rang. New answered the call without looking at number, " _Sawadee_ _krub_?" The voice which came from other side, astonished him a little. "Ai'New! I need your help!" New sat up, "What is it?"

"He's about to come here and the fairy lights are fluctuating." There was evident worry and nervousness in Tay's voice, "Uh uh. wait a few moments, I'll be there." Without a second thought, New got up and left his condo. Arriving quickly at the place, he reached the rooftop and opening the door to the rooftop he was astonished, in his perspective, forgetting that it wasn't for him. His lips curled just a bit.

Rose petals were laid all the way up to the tent as New walked on them and up to the tent a little, candles in glasses here and there and the only light which was there came from the candles and the- wait, the fairy lights are okay, then why did Tay call-

"Finally you arrived." Someone spoke from New's behind, his smile vanished as he turned his head in the direction of his shoulder to find none other than Tay, looking at the tent at first but then he averted his gaze and made eye contact with New. His eyes showing the sincere sparkle of love. "Tay," New averted his gaze and looked somewhat nervous and anxious. New pointed towards the light as he asked "The lights are okay then why have you called me here?"

Tay walked in front of New, his lips curled up, "It was just an excuse," New's eyebrows creased, "But why?" Tay became nervous seemingly as he shyly averted his gaze and sort of blushed, "Actually," He looked back up in New's eyes, "You are the one... Whom I wanted to propose." Tay's earnest eyes searched for the astonishment in New's eyes who looked at Tay in suspicion, "You're lying right?" New asked after a while.

Ouch! Did it hurt Tay? Yes it did. More than a simple prick, "Why do you think would I lie to you?" Tay covered his hurt and asked still earnestly. "Come on Tay, this is not funny anymore, don't play with my feelings."

"I am _not_." The soft firmness in Tay's tone quieted down New and sort of shut his worries, insecurities and voices away. The look of determination in Tay's eyes was something New didn't want to believe, fearing he'd get hurt again. Tay took New's hand into his, "I know it's hard for you to believe me but this is the truth... I have fallen... In love... With you."

  
"What made you think you're in love with me?" New was genuinely curious, he wanted to know what was his cause to say that, he wanted to see if what Tay said or felt was real. Though it felt like a joke, he wanted to believe Tay one last time but then again he wasn't strong enough to go through the pain all over again. "At first, I also believed that it was no more of a joke my mind played with me. But neither it was a joke nor my mind played with me."

Gazing in New's eyes he could see the small ray of hope. "But it was only after you left my side, I realised the cold void you left behind. I realised you never really pressured me, you just wanted to be someone who stays by my side. You just wanted to be someone who cares for me from the depth of his heart. You wanted me all to yourself but you dealt with me patiently, giving me time but my dumbass just got irritated by you. I couldn't see how you always had your arms opened for me, wanting and waiting for me reciprocate. Your absence pricks me in the heart with pain. I hope it's not too late, can you give me a chance to make it right with you?"

"So you did all this- basically tricked me into setting my own date?" Tay blinked and softly shook his head, "Not exactly..." He averted his gaze, embarrassment and nervousness was visible on his face. "Actually," He looked back up, "That night, I had came to propose you but you seemed to get the wrong idea. And I was so nervous that I ended up playing along and about this let's say it was only way that I could turn the events in my favour."

"You're such an arrogant and ignorant idiot, you know that right?" There was a thin line of moisture in New's eyes, Tay noticed. Tay could only smile back at him, "If I say I need time to heal, will you give me?" Tay nodded, "If I say I want to be treated the same way as I treated you, will you do it?" Tay nodded again.

"If I say I want to cry rivers of my pain on your shoulder, would you let me?" He again nodded, "If I trust you again, you won't break it right?" Tay shook his head. "I don't want to break again Tay," Tay saw how glassy New's eyes turned, "Seriously... You don't know how much it is taking from me to trust you all over again. Though I don't want to trust you at all," New's eyes filled after that. Tay closed in and gently wrapped his arms around New who put his temple on his shoulder and closed his eyes letting the tears flow. "I'm so sorry." Tay whispered. After listening to that, something in New told him everything was gonna be okay and that Tay was sincere. Tay rubbed his hands up and down gently on his back. New couldn't wrap his arms back fully, not because of Tay's hugging, but he clutched on the hem of Tay's shirt.

*

Deciding to take things slow, they enjoyed a simple dinner and went to sleep in the tent. The night was windy but they were warm. They had unknowingly tangled in each other in their sleep. Tay remembered, he woke up at dawn, he blinked and turned his head to his right, finding New peacefully sleeping on his arm. In the dim light of the sprout of the day, he could make out New's soft features. He looked so cute while sleeping, like a polar bear's cub. This view made him wanna protect New all his life. He even thought of bubble wrapping his baby up.

  
Gazing at New, he didn't realise when the sun rose. New pulled in a breath and stretched. He slept like a baby after a long while, he squirmed a little and when he felt a cold breeze wash over him, he snuggled up into the warm body beside him. Tay's lips curved in a pursed smile. He gave New a kiss on his head. New woke up after that, he realised that he was snuggling up to someone and that was when his eyes opened. He parted a little and looked up to find Tay gazing and softly smiling at him.

  
New didn't lift his head from Tay's arm, instead he said, "You know gazing at someone while they're sleeping is creepy right?"

"Not between us." New couldn't help but smile and avert his gaze, "New?" New looked back at him. The light coming from outside reflected in New's eyes making them sparkle and reach out to Tay's heart. Which did a flip. "Can I kiss you?" New giggled, "You need to ask that?"

Tay just gazed at him, making New feel weirdly soft for the man in front of him. "This is my first kiss." New said making Tay surprised, "Really?" New nodded shyly, "Well I am glad that I'm your first. So can I?" New chuckled and nodded as Tay neared in, their noses grazing and breaths feeling warm against each other's lips. It was almost magical how their lips connected and played with each other. The sensations were something else, it didn't take time before the kiss picked another emotion, passion. But they had to stop in order catch breaths.

Tay connected their foreheads after the kiss as they caught their breaths. Tay locked eye contact with New, "I'm so sorry for being so stupid and doing those things to you. For hurting you. I won't ask you to forgive you me but let you take that decision for yourself after seeing how I treat you. After showing you my actions. But now I just want to make you feel better and precious. I promise, I'll make it right with you. I'll never break this promise."

New smiled at him, he loved how the things Tay said were real, it showed in his eyes. "Let me seal the deal then." This time New pulled Tay in and they got lost in their kiss.

|End|

Dated: October 16th 2020

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading 💜
> 
> Feedback is appreciated


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